All my Love (what's it good for?) Play
Another missed opportunity.
A couple of months had passed and I still
hadn't heard anything, when one day out of the blue Rachael called for but a brief second, as I heard Keith in the background asking who was on the phone, at which point Rachael hung up. Predators like Keith are notorious for cutting their victims off from
friends and family so as to dominate and control them completely, something I was aware he had done in the past, and it appeared that this was the case and that he forbade her to contact me. At any rate, I thought Rachael would ring me from work on her break,
as she often did when we were living together.
At the time Rachael rang I wasn't thinking clearly, as I was struggling with chronic fatigue to the point where I could barely concentrate or function and was essentially
housebound for about two months until it mysteriously passed of its own accord. That Rachael had rung told me that she was not hostile towards me and she was seeking contact, all I had to was drive over and text her to meet me outside or wait for her to leave
the house when she went to work, shopping, or to walk the bibby. That phone call was a cry for help, and I had missed it.
Another month went by without change, and I was still
just as clueless about the issue of domestic violence and still sitting it out. One Thursday evening my daughter come a visiting after work as she would from time to time, and after a few minutes of chit chat she suddenly adopted a more serious tone and said,
"I am sorry Dad but there is something that I wish I didn't have to tell you, Rachael is dead." Apparently, Keith had rung my ex-wife and told her, and claimed it was a suicide. I had no reason to believe otherwise, and though I knew Keith was ultimately responsible,
I didn't think there was anything I could really do about it.
The news of Rachael's death was just impossible for me to process at first, and after my daughter left I just sat there detached and without emotion,
while at some level I was aware that a tsunami of pain was to follow. The next morning I woke and tsunami was already looming, and so I went through this mental checklist to ascertain what resources I had at my disposable to help me get through this, but there
was nothing, the cupboard was bare and for the first time in my life I knew what it meant to be terrified. I knew the second I accepted Rachael's death, I was going to experience pain that would be agonising, and I was so scared that I consciously retreated
into denial. Rachael wasn't dead; she was on holidays and would be back soon. For two weeks I kept it up, all the while having imaginary conversations with her that we would then have together when she arrived back.
first started when I attempted to pay my last respects to Rachael at the coroners’ court, to find I was barred by Keith. The Wiesel was now playing the grieving fiancée and was taking control of funeral arrangements. I rang legal advice and was
told that he was within his rights; I then went to the local police station to complain about my rights being infringed upon, knowing I would get nowhere, but as I had intention of breaking the intervention order and going to see Keith to demand my rights,
I wanted to show I had exhausted all other avenues first.
I made the following audio recording of my conversation with Keith the day I went to see him. He was aware it was being made, and so it is admissible evidence
under the law. The two threatening phone calls added at the end are from Keith.